Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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