The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The feeling are messing with the penis
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
A+ Viking dick
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