Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
