I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
