Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
