Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
this will be a night to untag.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
