even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
