Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
