you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
