I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
