mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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