Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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