She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my being single is dangerous.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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