I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
