She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
