Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
This toilet bowl is my home.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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