Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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