in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
