She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
