I think I died a long time ago.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
