Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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