i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
