The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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