I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize