somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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