omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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