I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
