Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
