i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
