Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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