you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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