Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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