She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
