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life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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