But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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