she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
