Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so let's talk penis.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
