I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
