He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
