Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
