I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
