just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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