so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
try to milk me bitch
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
