did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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