3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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