so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
