just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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