You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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