i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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