I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
